allpurposebitch.com

How depressing… Nobody’s after my job.

Dain bramaged.

Deja Moo: The feeling you’ve heard this bullshit before.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

I can’t be fired… slaves are sold.

When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.

The box said “Requires Windows 95 or better.” So I installed LINUX

90% of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.

<–Your information went data way –>

A brontosaurus is a salamander designed to Mil-Spec.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A computer is a hole in the desk into which money disappears

Advice is cheap because the supply always exceeds the demand

Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.

All I want is a bit more than I’ll ever get.

And which parallel universe did you crawl out of?

Avoid cliche’s like the plague

Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth.

C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington DC (Y/n)?

Creativity is the art of concealing your sources.

Department of Redundancy Department.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” until you can find a rock.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F-1 to continue.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

You know you’re an engineer if you have no life & can prove it mathematically

Hukt awn fonix wurkt fur mee

I can’t be fired… slaves are sold

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I PROCESS, therefore I AM

I will give up my pun when they pry my poor, dead zingers from around it.

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

In the absence of certainty, trust your intuition

It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you

I’ve upped my attitude, now up yours

Kiss me – I’m virus free

Mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available

Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.

Math illiteracy affects 8 out of every 5 people.

NEVER, BUT NEVER question the ACCOUNTANT’S judgement

NEVER, BUT NEVER question the ENGINEER’S judgement

NEVER, BUT NEVER question the GEEK’S judgement

Obviously, you are incapable of assimilating the extent of my genius.

Penguins are our friends

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the damn thing blew up)

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit

Press any key… no, no, no, not that one!

Quiet – Alpha Geek at work.

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure

REAL PROGRAMMERS DON’T DOCUMENT. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Talent is the ability to convince people you have it.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can. Don’t make me choose.

The problem with getting a life is making the payments.

The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

Thou shalt not hassle

Time flies when you are sick and psychotic

Underneath this rough exterior beats a heart of stone

Very funny, Scotty — now beam down my clothes

WARNING: dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?

We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is staggering.

When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.

Whip me. Beat me. Make me write bad checks

Who hired all these tacky people?