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Don’t cheat! Before you read on . . . choose your favorite marshmallow bit from Lucky Charms from the list below . . .

- Pink hearts
- Yellow moons
- Orange stars
- Green clovers
- Blue diamonds
- Purple horseshoes
- Those icky oat bits

Ok. Have you got one in mind? Now you can read on. And don’t change it!

Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit shape determines what you’re like in bed! Yes, it’s true–just take this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:

GREEN CLOVERS: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is the green
clover, you’re a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don’t take
anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always
manage to have a good time, even if you have someone else with
you. You don’t have any patience with depressed people and tend
to sit on them until they cheer up.

BLUE DIAMONDS: If your favorite marshmallow shape is the blue diamond, your
thoughts in bed are mostly about what you’ll get later. “If he
really enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?” is probably
what’s going through your mind.  People who like blue diamonds
have a notebook of preprinted fill-in-the-blank palimony suit
forms and are the people most likely to file their nails while
making love.

ORANGE STARS: If your favorite shape is the orange star, you expect to be the
center of attention in bed. You expect your partner to spend most
of his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you
expect enthusiastic moaning if not applause. People who like
orange stars often have mirrors over their beds, not because they
are turned on by watching what is being done, but because they
want to be able to watch themselves having a good time. They
often moan out their own names while making love.

PINK HEARTS: If you like pink hearts, you’re the romantic type. You like your
partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he’s too
distracted to form coherent phrases, you’ll settle for romantic
syllables. People who like pink hearts read most of the romance
novels published and are turned on by people wearing armor.

PURPLE HORSESHOES: If purple horseshoes are your thing, your tastes are modern,
uninhibited, and somewhat warped. You like variety in the
bedroom, especially when you can include handcuffs, chains,
swingsets, and chocolate pudding. Be careful when going out
on a picnic with anyone who likes purple horseshoes–
she’s/ he’s likely to pin you down with croquet hoops when
you’re not looking and who knows what could happen next?

YELLOW MOONS: If you’re the yellow moon type, you’re more interested in
satisfying your partner’s needs than your own. You prefer to lie
back and wait for your partner to jump on you and express her/his
needs verbally or nonverbally. People who like yellow moons
usually own several pairs of handcuffs and other instruments of
kinky sex just in case someone should ever want to tie them up
and ravish them.  Keep your eyes open for anyone who eats all the
yellow moons out of her cereal as soon as she opens the box.

Those little oat bits that aren’t marshmallows at all: If you prefer the little oat bits, you probably don’t like sex anyway and don’t need to read this article. People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants, librarians who work at the reference desk, or government employees; these people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with oat bits before a tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock music. People who like oat bits have more time to spend writing letters to the editor than any other type.