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1. A hillbilly farmer
(Humor/Humor)
... that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries ...
2. APPLICATION REVIEW
(Humor/Humor)
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications  He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is ...
3. Lawyers
(Humor/Humor)
... didn't you? Witness: I went to Europe, Sir. Lawyer: And you took your new wife? Lawyer: You say the stairs went down to the basement? Witness: Yes. Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also? ...
... out quite so swell unless you "nose" your partner really well. As Pinnochio passed through life his search became frantic for a loving wife. Of course there was a problem needing rectification one that ...
5. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... scum-sucker and the other is a fish. - What did God say after creating man? I can do better. - Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? - Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand ...
... did to the hay fields. Dot Matrix:      Farmer Matrix's wife. Lap Top:          Where little kids feel comfy. Keyboard :       Where ya hang your keys. Software:        Them plastic eatin' utensils. Mouse:             ...
7. Laundry
(Humor/Humor)
... that first night and finally fell asleep together completely exhausted. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up and he was ready to do the laundry again.  He gently shook his new wife and asked ...
8. Two Cajuns
(Humor/Humor)
... His wife asks him what he's doing, and he replies, "I am finally going to get to go over there and kick that damn Clarence's butt..."  He sets out to cross the river and his wife watches him go, then ...
9. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... her answer and eventually forgets all about the matter.  Three years later when he is cleaning out the attic, he runs across the trunk and again asks his wife what's in it. She again tells him that it ...
10. Love Letters
(Humor/Humor)
To My Dear Wife, During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 12 times. The following list is why I didn't succeed often. 1. The sheets are clean. . . . . . . . . ...
11. the machine....
(Humor/Humor)
... and mixes is with some of his wife and daughters urine, and just for good measure adds some of his own semen.  He takes it down to the pharmacy...  The Machine spits out the following diagnosis... ***YOU ...
12. Making Love
(Humor/Humor)
    A Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.  "Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ectasy this morning.....  "Ah, last night ...
...  I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your a)  house b)  wife c)  Cub Scout troop d)  1/16th sized replica of the ...
14. Beans
(Humor/Humor)
... wife from a phone in the small town that he lived to tell her he was going to be a little late. After that he smelled beans from this restaurant. He decided to stop by for a taste and ended up eating 3 ...
... The answer:This is like a box of Chocolate                              The Question:What is Life... Forrest Hillary              Hey Bill...those are my Chocolates! Forrest Fudd                 Wife is ...
... "Puja!" (Push!)  Instead he was saying  "Whore! Whore! Whore!"  - A 40-year old man and his wife were playing with some vegetables  when a cucumber became lodged in his rectum.  Unable to get it  out ...
17. Beer Quotes
(Humor/Humor)
... Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.        --His reply If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomaches.        --David Daye Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ...
18. ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET
(Humor/Humor)
... You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if >> new e-mail arrives. >> 15 Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what >> she >> looks like. >> 16 All of your ...
19. INTEROFFICE MEMO #68
(Humor/Humor)
... YOU, TOO. 839 NO SHIT 840 NO FUCKING SHIT. 841 GO TO HELL, ASSHOLE. 842 STICK IT IN YOUR FUCKING EAR! 843 UN BEFUCKINGLY BELIEVABLE!! 901 COOL IT, THIS IS MY WIFE/HUSBAND                 ...
... Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder.  He got $10,000    for the hit.  If his common law wife is spending $100 per    month, how much money will be left when he gets out of    prison and how many ...
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