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1. A hillbilly farmer
(Humor/Humor)
... any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer ...
... ON SOAP OPERAS She is:  MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED She is not:  COLD OR FRIGID She is:  THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP She is:  COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED She does not have:  ...
3. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... Grape Nuts.  Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? A: Supervisor.  Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes? A: Crabgrass. Q: What do crabs get high on? A: Shake-N-Bake. Q: Describe a ...
... once it cost him a date. But sooner or later he turned it to an advantage it happened one night when he was wearing a bandage. His third eye, of course, the bandage did cover "You can call me your blind ...
... premises (keeping                your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised). 13. What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ...
6. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it? Wife:  You wear briefs don't you? - What's the difference bewtween a porcupine and a Corvette? The porcupine has pricks on the outside. - How ...
7. ANOTHER DUMB ROBBER
(Humor/Humor)
... over and stared," presiding judge James Fleetwood said.  "I said , 'surely no one would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.' "    The prosecution didn't make Taylor's choice in footwear ...
8. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... on by people wearing armor. PURPLE HORSESHOES: If purple horseshoes are your thing, your tastes are modern,                                   uninhibited, and somewhat warped. You like variety in the ...
9. The Red Shirt
(Humor/Humor)
... "Bring me my red shirt!"  And once again the battle was on.  The Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.     Weary from the battles, the men sat ...
10. What if?.........
(Humor/Humor)
... to be troubled and insecure?  - Is there another word for synonym?  - Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?  - If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? ...
... needs to get more exercise.He weighs over fifty pounds. - Playing with Mypenis really wears me out. - Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis? - Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active. ...
12. The Last 10 Things....
(Humor/Humor)
... inside? 7. Sometimes I just want to be held. 6. Her breasts are just too big. 5. That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody! 4. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom. 3. We haven't been to the mall in ages... ...
... shops and buy exactly the same outfits.  Always wear      them one day after your boss does.  (This is especially effective if your boss is      a different gender than you are.) 12. Make up nicknames ...
14. Inanimate Objects
(Humor/Humor)
... even as we speak. I did not used to mistrust in the inanimate, but I blame my glasses. I have been wearing glasses since, I think, conception; what my mother thought were my fetal kicks were actually ...
... restart.  The utility guy swears this was the first time this has ever happened.  Rebooting the kitchen took over an hour. Dec 7:  The police are not happy.  Our house keeps calling them for help.  We ...
16. IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:
(Humor/Humor)
... Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? ...
17. George Carlin
(Humor/Humor)
... much emphasis on safety and safety equipment: childproof medicine bottles, fireproof pajamas, child restraints, car seats. And helmets! Bicycle, baseball, skateboard, scooter helmets. Kids have to wear ...
18. NEW OFFICE POLICY
(Humor/Humor)
EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume ...
...                                            (X OR SIGNATURE)                                               ,SWEARS THAT THE JIVE ABOVE IS – ANSWERED TO THE BEST OF MY NIGGER ABILITY, AND THAT I SWEAR ...
20. Why Men Rule.
(Humor/Humor)
... you to something, he or she can still be your friend. 13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 15. Everything on your face stays its original ...
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