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... 8.  Do you own a van?_______ A truck with oversized tires?________     A waterbed?_____________     Do you have an earring, nose ring, or bellybutton ring?_______     A tattoo?_______________    (IF YES ...
2. Two missionaries
(Humor/Humor)
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under  it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the ...
3. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry.  I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake.  As the lake gets drier, ...
4. Birds Eye View
(Humor/Humor)
...    Sitting there nervous and drinking their water, They knew they were in for a nightly slaughter.   All ages speaking, K through twelve. Basically telling them, go to hell!!   Then down ...
22)  A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 21)  The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 20)  Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 19)  He fell out of the Stupid tree and ...
6. Nuns
(Humor/Humor)
... "OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven."   The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit."  "OK" ...
7. A mighty fire
(Humor/Humor)
... and came to a leisurely halt right at the base of the fire. The men in the tiny truck leaped out, doused themselves with water from their own hoses, and proceeded to extinguish the fire. The next day at ...
8. the machine....
(Humor/Humor)
... 24-48 HOURS, REST FOR A WEEK OR TWO, APPLY A WARM COMPRESS TWICE DAILY, AND TAKE IBUPRFEN***   The man is amazed, but decides to try and pull a fast one on the machine... So he fills a glass with water, ...
9. chili cook-off
(Humor/Humor)
... made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid              unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to              match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, ...
10. Beer Quotes
(Humor/Humor)
... Bad Habits, Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.        --Dave Barry My problem ...
... on water. (Matthew 14:25) ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965) Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception. Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended ...
12. George Carlin
(Humor/Humor)
... you in a mood they approve of, and drag you all over town in search of empty, meaningless structure: Little League, Cub Scouts, swimming, soccer, karate, piano, bagpipes, watercolors, witchcraft, glass ...
13. Kids Are Quick
(Humor/Humor)
... how I spell it. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one ...
... HUBCAP SALESMAN_____WATERBED DEMONSTRATOR_____ DOPE PUSHER_____ALL THE ABOVE_____       CHECK FOODS YOU LIKE BEST:  BAR-B-Q_____CARP_____MUSKRAT_____ WATERMELON_____FRIED CHICKEN_____ OTHER_________________________________________________ ...
...  588.       Pump  589.       Pump jacks  590.       Pump mini me  591.       Pump sperm  592.       Pump the balls  593.       Pump the Pole  594.       Pump the watergun  595.       Pump your ...
... any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing ...
... a Rome laundry:         Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon         having a good time. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:         A lot of water has been passed under ...
18. Hazardous Material
(Humor/Humor)
... warning for no reason. 4. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water. 5. Activity greatly increases when saturation in alcohol. 6. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man. COMMON ...
19. Weird sex facts
(Humor/Humor)
... of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour Average ...
... Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure.  Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.         --  Use the element of ...
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