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1. Physics exam
(Humor/Humor)
...  “But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. ...
2. A hillbilly farmer
(Humor/Humor)
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have ...
3. My Job
(Humor/Humor)
... she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb ...
4. Once upon a time...
(Humor/Humor)
... Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering ...
5. Articals
(Humor/Humor)
Artical 1: Statement of Love: The kiss 1. Kiss on the hand... I adore you 2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends 3. Kiss on the neck... I want you 4. Kiss on the lips... I love you 5. Kiss ...
6. Creative Writing
(Humor/Humor)
... each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The story begins ... ---     At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. ...
7. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... favorable.   But Clarence was ready for him: he produced a timeline and pointed to the third milestone and asked, "You don't want to slip the schedule do you?"   From his training, Felix knew that not ...
... with his "nose" while yours just shrinks and shrivels, and sometimes grows. Perhaps you could start your own television event and call it 'Where the Nose of Pinocchio Went'". But Pinhead didn't want all ...
... would want to be wounded is in the         __________________________________________________________     B.  If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my         __________________________________________________________ ...
... Mr Blair outside a west London shopping centre.   Rhino man refused to give his identity but said he wanted to protest at the way" the level of debate in the political campaign seems to have become ludicrously ...
11. A cowboy's wish
(Humor/Humor)
... days. On sundown of the third day, you die. What is first wish?"  The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."  The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps ...
12. Accountant
(Humor/Humor)
... sign language. With a .45 pressed against the mute's forehead the wise guy says, "I'm only going to ask you once you sonofabitch, and if you don't tell me what I want to know, I'm gonna blow your fucking ...
13. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... scum-sucker and the other is a fish. - What did God say after creating man? I can do better. - Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? - Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand ...
14. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
...    The man thinks for awhile and says, "I really don't know what to wish for. The genie replies, "Wish for lots of money, that's what most people want in life." The man replies, "No, I have enough money, ...
15. Laundry
(Humor/Humor)
... and "do the laundry" with him again. She gently shook him and said "honey, I'm sorry I denied you...we can do the laundry again if you want" and he replied "that's OK.. it was a small load, I did it by ...
16. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.  I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.   Age 10    When I go to heaven, I want ...
17. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... are turned on by watching what is being done, but because they                          want to be able to watch themselves having a good time. They                          often moan out their own ...
... be hung." 6> "I wouldn't want to destroy my remaining shred of faith in the judicial system      by actually seeing it in action." 5> "I'm Judge Wapner and ALL you sons of bitches are guilty!" 4> "I'm ...
19. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... she cooks him fantastic meals 7 days a week, and that she gives him all the sex he wants, anytime he wants it. Then she tells him if he is happy with all of those things, that he should forget about the ...
20. Nuns
(Humor/Humor)
... says St. Peter. "Well, your excellency," says the Nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her butt ...
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