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1. Physics exam
(Humor/Humor)
... in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn’t make up his mind which to use. On being advised ...
2. Creative Writing
(Humor/Humor)
... keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant ...
... an     uncle who thought he was a chicken.  My aunt almost divorced him, but we     needed the eggs. - Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle. - Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry? - ...
4. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... Felix   would surely be able to fly. Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears.  "He just doesn't understand how important this is..." thought Clarence, "but I won't let nay-sayers get in my ...
... a chance to rest due to the consequences of practicing incest. So poor old Pin with this disorder was born ; he was the constant subject of sarcasm and scorn. The thought of school Pinnochio did dread ...
6. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
This man is walking along a beach one day and finds an old lamp washed up on the shore.  He takes it home and places it on his mantle,  but doesn't give it much thought.    A few weeks later he looks at ...
7. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."     My young brother asked me what happens after we die.  I told him we get buried under ...
8. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... cheer up. BLUE DIAMONDS: If your favorite marshmallow shape is the blue diamond, your                           thoughts in bed are mostly about what you'll get later. "If he                           ...
9. Two Cajuns
(Humor/Humor)
... she sees him get about halfway across the bridge and turn back When he reaches her, she asks, "What happened, I thought you were going to beat up Clarence?"  And Pierre says, "Ya', but that was before ...
10. MURPHY’S LAWS
(Humor/Humor)
... cost more than you thought.          If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up.          If it’s jammed, force it. If it breaks, in needed replacing anyway.          If more than ...
11. Birds Eye View
(Humor/Humor)
...    We weren't thought of first, they don’t even care. They forgot about youth for they,re losing their hair.   Who cares if the referendum didn’t pass. I think the school board can kiss my ass. ...
12. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... I thought I'd put     them in the same room and let them fight it out.  - I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information.  She    said they were behind the couch.  She was right. ...
13. Little Johnny
(Humor/Humor)
... her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. ...
14. Neil Armstrong
(Humor/Humor)
... NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut, however upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space program. Over the years, many people questioned ...
... would have done, if you had thought of it first e)  I'm going to use again on someone else. Sincerely, Me. ...
16. Beans
(Humor/Humor)
... thought about it then ate his last bowl for life and married her. A couple years down after he got of work his car died and as he was in the country  he had to leave the car and walk home. He called his ...
17. Chat
(Humor/Humor)
... chat happens tonight at 11 Eastern in the Writers Club Workshop. Prior to this momentous event, however, I thought it wise to wander through the various chat rooms on AOL, to get a grip on who is talking ...
18. lightbulb jokes
(Humor/Humor)
... had second thoughts.  ;)     (SCPandich) *** How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to hold the bulb and five others to stand around and drink until the room spins.  *** How ...
19. Inanimate Objects
(Humor/Humor)
... even as we speak. I did not used to mistrust in the inanimate, but I blame my glasses. I have been wearing glasses since, I think, conception; what my mother thought were my fetal kicks were actually ...
... tedious to step     through all those variables.    Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?  A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.    Q: Does God know everything?  A: He likes to ...
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