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1. Physics exam
(Humor/Humor)
...  “But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. ...
2. Doctors office
(Humor/Humor)
... penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. ...
3. My Job
(Humor/Humor)
... a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. ...
4. Confucious say:
(Humor/Humor)
... in handy.  - Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.  - Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.  - Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone. ...
5. An old lady
(Humor/Humor)
... be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich." *** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, ...
6. APPLICATION REVIEW
(Humor/Humor)
... day.  Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:  A "Don't remind me again" button . Minimise button . An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to   uninstall ...
7. Creative Writing
(Humor/Humor)
... The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, ...
8. A Party
(Humor/Humor)
A Texas girl and a woman from New York meet at a party. The Texas gal says, "Hi! Where y'all from?"  The New Yorker sticks her nose in the air like she's checking for rain, and replies, "Where I come from, ...
... mask.  (What a salmon mask should look like, God only knows.)  They adjourned to the gym where each kid held his/her mask on with one hand.  The girls were given a sponge Nerf ball and the boys a can of ...
10. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... out to accomplish.  Felix had not only failed to fly, he didn't even learn how to steer his flight as he fell like a sack of cement.... nor did he improve his productivity when Clarence had told him to ...
...  Now I'd like to reveal another myth - one no doubt that you were brought up with. My guess is that you were led to believe something ridiculous, that was meant to deceive. It pertains to the origin of ...
12. Son of a Bitch
(Humor/Humor)
... without permission"  "Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.  "Yes father."  "That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch." "But father he also touched my breasts."  "You mean like this??" ...
13. Little Boy
(Humor/Humor)
... he was doing in the shower.  The little boy said that he was playing poker.  So the dad asked who was playing the wild card.  And the little boy replied "With a hand like this, who needs a wild card." ...
14. Random
(Humor/Humor)
...     1. No mind     2. No business. - Why are men like laxatives?  They irritate the shit out of you. - What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist. - Why do jocks play on artificial turf? ...
15. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
... I don't need anymore."  The genie says, "How about travel? I can take you to the far corners of the world in an instant."    The man replies, "No, I 've been to many places and I like it here." The genie ...
16. Two missionaries
(Humor/Humor)
... time like this?" The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup." ...
17. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots.  Once there was a big fire and everyone died.  Age 13    I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog.  ...
18. It's Wednesday!
(Humor/Humor)
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.  Since this is such a big event, the girl announces that after dinner, she would like to go out and have sex for the ...
19. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... shape determines what you're like in bed! Yes, it's true--just take this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:   GREEN CLOVERS: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is the ...
... "Dear sirs pleeze excuze Matt from jury dooty his grandma dide. Sinseerly,       Matt's mom." 8> "Do I get to slap the scumbags around like Detective Sipowicz?" 7> "Your Honor, *any* jury I'M on would ...
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