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... Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming ...
... grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."  The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He ...
... he was away on his honeymoon, the others continued to meet.  "I think we ought to have a little fun with Joe," suggested the carpenter. "I'll sneak into his house and weaken the bed-slats."  "And I can ...
4. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... old yokel vote.  Age 10    Home is where the house is.  Age 6    Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.  Age 15    It ...
5. It's Wednesday!
(Humor/Humor)
... thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, ...
6. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... and Personnel Committee which      appoints the House Committtee.  8 to sit on the House Committtee which      appoints the Light Bulb changing committee.  4 to sit on the Light Bulb Changing      Committee ...
7. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... contains only personal things, but this time he is more persistent. So she sits him down and reminds him that she makes him happy when he's feeling down, that she keeps the house meticulously clean, that ...
8. Random
(Humor/Humor)
...  - Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten   this before.  - In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I     would flick it ...
... switch to espresso.  42. "When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that         the drinks are free.   Ask, and ask often. ...
... e)  Local Police Chief, Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your a)  Car b)  House c)  Pet d)  Espresso maker e)  Left arm was severely damaged by my a)  infantile b)  puerile c)  inept ...
11. IQ Test
(Humor/Humor)
... what he is talking about   c) be sent immediately to Abu Dhabi   d) sell his house and move to Florida 22) Florida is better than Abu Dhabi because   a) people know where Florida is   b) Disneyland   ...
... Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw." 5.   Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos. 6.   The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be the outhouse. 7.   ...
... much for the greenhouse effect.  ...
... could be recovered and  if it was in good condition.  The police were dispatched to the  man's house and the search was on.  During the search one of the  officers heard a choking sound coming from the ...
The (Future) Diary of a Mad Digital Homeowner: Nov 28, 1995: Moved in to my new digitally-maxed out Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything's ...
16. Ask Dr. Internet II
(Humor/Humor)
... presented as a significant fact, which it     undoubtedly is. 4.  Do You Know Anything About "Johnny Mnemonic?"     The Dr. Internet household is usually limited to watching movies on     videotape, ...
17. chili cook-off
(Humor/Humor)
... Chili Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans. Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My ...
18. ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET
(Humor/Humor)
... already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway >>    through Lycos. >> 20 You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. >> 21 You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have ...
19. Diary of an AOL User.
(Humor/Humor)
... will help. I cant ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he's laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework. So they wont let him come over anymore. I ...
20. AOL Notices
(Humor/Humor)
... is coming personally to your house        to yank out the phone cord....   #9--- You have been online 852 minutes.  Do         you KNOW how many HOURS that is???   #10-- You have been online for 921 ...
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