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... that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west ...
2. Creative Writing
(Humor/Humor)
... target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.  Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower ...
3. A cowboy's wish
(Humor/Humor)
... the horse on  the ass. The horse takes off.  Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at  each other, ...
4. Laundry
(Humor/Humor)
... morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. Her new husband had saved himself for her for many years. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable and she decided she should go ahead ...
...  They said "you project's late, but we know just what to do.  Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!"    OT, that is... unpaid... mandatory...  The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad.  Schedules ...
6. the machine....
(Humor/Humor)
... 24-48 HOURS, REST FOR A WEEK OR TWO, APPLY A WARM COMPRESS TWICE DAILY, AND TAKE IBUPRFEN***   The man is amazed, but decides to try and pull a fast one on the machine... So he fills a glass with water, ...
7. Beer Quotes
(Humor/Humor)
... of your life. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.        --Tom Waits 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Beer is good food. you don't like jail? naw, they ...
... other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh     oh cyber sex pervo"  .....you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours(big time)  .....you use AOL lingo ...
... think it >> sounds >> like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing >>    the net". >> 47 You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to >> call 200 >> hours per month ...
10. AOL Notices
(Humor/Humor)
... is coming personally to your house        to yank out the phone cord....   #9--- You have been online 852 minutes.  Do         you KNOW how many HOURS that is???   #10-- You have been online for 921 ...
11. George Carlin
(Humor/Humor)
... out on structure. I think what every child needs and ought to have every day is two hours of daydreaming. Plain old daydreaming.   Turn off the internet, the CD-ROMS, and the computer games and let them ...
12. Why Men Rule.
(Humor/Humor)
... a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." 20. Same work...more pay. 21. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. 22. Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo rental: ...
... it was an OS problem. Transferred them to microsupport. 11:00 am Relatively quiet for last few hours Decided to plug support phone back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town ...
... are expected to complain at the office between         the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel:         The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of         the chambermaid. ...
... Owns a white button-down Reliable                             Shows up on time, give or take a few hours Self-employed                   Mows lawns and fixes doorbells for a living Sensitive                           ...
... at a green screen for 15 hours straight  :*)   User is drunk  [:]   User is a robot  8-)   User is wearing sunglasses  B:-)  Sunglasses on head  ::-)  User wears normal glasses  B-)   User wears ...
17. Weird sex facts
(Humor/Humor)
... 3-4 inches The human equalivent: 26 miles (a marathon distance) Time it takes the sperm: 2.5 seconds Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development ...
18. Performance Reviews...
(Humor/Humor)
...  31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes". 32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead".  ...
19. KNOWN FORMS of POOP:
(Humor/Humor)
THE AFTERSHOCK POOP This POOP has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected. THE BACK-TO-NATURE POOP This POOP may be of any variety but is always deposited ...
20. I like monkeys
(Humor/Humor)
... of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so ...
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