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1. A little old lady....
(Humor/Humor)
... me.." "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?' You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football ...
2. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... out to accomplish.  Felix had not only failed to fly, he didn't even learn how to steer his flight as he fell like a sack of cement.... nor did he improve his productivity when Clarence had told him to ...
3. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday.  Q: Name three things you      won't find in Los Angeles. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall.  Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. A: Ben Gay.  Q: Why didn't ...
4. Lawyers
(Humor/Humor)
... didn't you? Witness: I went to Europe, Sir. Lawyer: And you took your new wife? Lawyer: You say the stairs went down to the basement? Witness: Yes. Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also? ...
... as all the kids called him a dickhead. But with delight would they all scream and yell When Pinocchio's turn came for show and tell. For it didn't take much to get him excited and even Miss Teacher ended ...
6. A young doctor...
(Humor/Humor)
... the deal here?" asked the doc.  The administrator replied, "Oh, this man has an awful disorder, sperm buildup.  If he didn't do this at least five times a day, he'd just explode." As they continued the ...
... the salesman stomped into the coffee shop.  "You know fellas, I didn't mind the bedslats collapsing. And I didn't mind the hot-wiring. But I sure as hell could have  killed the guy who put Novocaine in ...
8. INFLATION BY DEFLATION
(Humor/Humor)
... only 16 oz. even  though it looks  the same size. And the price didn't change. SOB!.    Other bargains really aren't, the price has been held but the quantity  has been reduced but you haven't been told ...
9. ANOTHER DUMB ROBBER
(Humor/Humor)
 Headline in Arizona Republic March 21, 1997.  The Boots Fit, So the Jury Had To Convict.  Associated Press, Wichita Kansas       A man on trial for robbing a shoe store probably didn't help his court ...
10. Lawyer
(Humor/Humor)
... few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn,  then stopped short.  There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!    "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he ...
11. MARY HAD A LITTLE CLONE
(Humor/Humor)
A scientific song break. . . Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was slightly grey, It didn't have a father, just some borrowed DNA. It sort of had a mother, though the ovum was on loan, It was not so ...
12. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.  I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.   Age 10    When I go to heaven, I want ...
13. Birds Eye View
(Humor/Humor)
...    We weren't thought of first, they don’t even care. They forgot about youth for they,re losing their hair.   Who cares if the referendum didn’t pass. I think the school board can kiss my ass. ...
14. Love Letters
(Humor/Humor)
To My Dear Wife, During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 12 times. The following list is why I didn't succeed often. 1. The sheets are clean. . . . . . . . . ...
... the modern military salute. 5. The "huddle" in football was formed due a deaf football player who used sign       language to communicate and his team didn't want the opposition to see the     signals ...
- Mypenis ate my homework. - Oh, no!Mypenis is frothing at the mouth! - Sorry I'm late.I was playing with Mypenis. - I'm sorry, Officer.I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash. - Mypenis doesn't ...
1. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for     your document. 2. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and     you're ...
18. Beans
(Humor/Humor)
... bowls. But he didn't care because he was walking far and by the time he got home he would have let it all out. When he finally got home his wife irratatidly put a bandana around his head and told him she ...
19. IQ Test
(Humor/Humor)
... lions. 4) The writer   a) is incredibly demented   b) is becoming annoying   c) is already annoying   d) I do not know because I didn't read the passage. 5) The reader   a) would like to read something ...
20. Inanimate Objects
(Humor/Humor)
... to my hands and knees in a crowded men's room and explain Hey! Help me out, I'm lookin' for a - ahh, never mind. I didn't care. Good riddance. I reached into my pocket and produced the old pair of glasses, ...
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