1. Tide
(Humor/Humor)

Dear TIDE, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!About ...

2. A little old lady....
(Humor/Humor)

... a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, There are $20 bills falling out of your bag." "'Oh, really? Darn!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling ...

3. Confucious say:
(Humor/Humor)

 - Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.  - Man who stand on toilet high on pot.  - It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.  - Man who jizz in cash register ...

4. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)

... Felix out the window. (THUD!)     On the third day (at the third floor) Felix tried a different ploy: stalling, he asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather would make flying conditions more ...

5. A young doctor...
(Humor/Humor)

... disorder, better health plan!" ...

6. Random
(Humor/Humor)

... scum-sucker and the other is a fish. - What did God say after creating man? I can do better. - Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? - Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand ...

7. Lawyer
(Humor/Humor)

... and decided it would be  better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer." ...

8. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)

... to see my grandpa again.  But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.   Age 5    I once heard the voice of God.  It said "Vrrrrmmmmm."  Unless it was just a lawn mower.   Age 11    I ...

9. here are some more useless facts...
(Humor/Humor)

...      heat sensitive. A Siamese will be darker or lighter depending on the temperature     at conception now don't you feel oh so much better now that you know this information??? ...

10. Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Mypenis:
(Humor/Humor)

... lying down, but even better when standing at attention. - Mypenis: the crotch-sniffer. - There's nothing like a well-trained bitch for Mypenis. - I've trained Mypenis to jump through hoops. - Mypenis ...

11. the machine....
(Humor/Humor)

... QUIT JERKING OFF, YOUR TENNIS ELBOW WILL NEVER GET  BETTER  ...

12. The Last 10 Things....
(Humor/Humor)

... let's go shopping and I can hold your purse! 2. Screw Monday Night Football; let's watch Murphy Brown. 1. I think we're lost -- we'd better pull over and ask for directions.   The Last 10 Things any woman ...

13. Charles Gate
(Humor/Humor)

... than the Floating Charles Head, but it is still much better than earth. See you soon.... P.S.- don't forget to bring plenty of pretzels and beer. The Floating Charles Head has a Superbowl Party everyday!!! ...

14. IQ Test
(Humor/Humor)

... what he is talking about   c) be sent immediately to Abu Dhabi   d) sell his house and move to Florida 22) Florida is better than Abu Dhabi because   a) people know where Florida is   b) Disneyland   ...

15. FORREST in EVERYONE'S LIFE
(Humor/Humor)

... Ruth             Chocolate is nice, but sex is better! The Forrest Zone             There is another dimension,                              beyond that which is known to man,                              ...

16. drinking game
(Humor/Humor)

... product is shown. They tell you that this is "the last operating system you'll ever need." Bill breaks down, turns to the camera and say "Easy is not better!" ********************************Drain it*********************************** ...

17. Ask Dr. Internet II
(Humor/Humor)

... is that "Speed" co-starred Sandra     Bullock.  I don't wish to belabor the point, but maybe your seven     dollars would be better spent at "While You Were Sleeping." 5.  What About That "Email/Etext" ...

18. chili cook-off
(Humor/Humor)

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!   For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this ...

19. Beer Quotes
(Humor/Humor)

... better to have beer in hand than gas in tank. Life is too short to drink cheap beer. Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore Beer: Nature's laxative. Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother! One ...

20. You Might Be Addicted to AOL if...
(Humor/Humor)

... Domino's  .....You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol" (spanish chat room) "just to work on my     spanish"  .....you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"  .....you go into labor ...